Suvudu Universe

On a recent trip to the mall I came across a rather peculiar oddity that I could only describe as techno-zombies. These aren’t the regular kind of zombies depicted in horror movies running after hot women with large breasts and tasty brain matter. These were the kind of zombies whose brains have been, quite literally, replaced by their cell-phones, and their fingers permanently affixed to the keypad. They are so completely oblivious to the world around them that simple tasks, such as walking, cause them great trauma and bewilderment.

In one particular case I had to stop and watch a techno-zombie as he recklessly walked down the fairway at the mall. His fingers fast at work texting something of great importance, I can only assume, that he failed to realize what was happening around him. From one end of the mall to the other people had to walk around him, pull small children from his path, avoid smacking him with bags, and at one point he nearly became some poor man’s lunch tray.

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Not once did he look up or apologize when he bumped into someone…he knew his approach and did not deviate from his path. I’m sure that in his infinite wisdom that he calculated the angle of his approach, fully believing that he would wind-up clearing the doorway of the store he wanted to enter, yet something tells me that he failed mathematics in a horrible disgrace. Had be bothered to look up, at least once from phone he might have realized that he was off from his desired destination by nearly five-feet.

When he ran into the wall, next to the doorway, it may have been the first time he looked up the entire day. And when he did look up, it was only to see if anyone noticed that he had run into the wall, then his eyes once again became affixed to the phone-screen. I wanted to continue to follow him to see what else he was going to run into next. It was almost as humorous as watching a Tom and Jerry cartoon but I had wasted enough time on this zombie. Besides I was having difficulty keeping my laughter from spilling from my lips and making myself look almost as foolish.

With this in mind I want to propose an APP that would not only help techno-zombies from having to lift their heads up and look at the world, but would save innocent bystanders from being run into and over by these zombies. This APP was consist of a highly sensitive GPS locator that would flash warning messages onto the texting screen when a techno-zombie is about to come into close proximity to an object. Something like: “Deviate path, infant ahead”, “Immediate danger-wall!”, “Hey dumbass- cliff”, or “Police Officer – Run!” may actually save a techno-zombie’s life and any innocent bystanders – provided a  zombie’s life is worth saving. If their entire life is spent looking down at the screen, even at a mall, then are they actually living or are they, in fact, just zombies?

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