The "Whelp" Response: How Being a SF/F Fan Makes Me React Like a Lunatic

suvudu, fandom, weirdness, aliens, zombies, supernatural

by Sara N.

Oh, God, please don't be in my house. 

The other day, I was sitting in my house and heard the disembodied voice of a crying child. And I thought to myself, "Whelp, my house is haunted."

But after a second, I got up to see if there was a kid somewhere outside — you know, the common-sense response of a normal person. Turns out, my neighbor's child sounds like a mournful child ghost when he's bouncing on the trampoline in his backyard. A little spooky, maybe, but not otherworldly.

Still, it made me realize how often I immediately jump to the supernatural conclusion before fact-checking myself a split-second later. I blame all of the sci fi/fantasy/horror books, movies and TV shows that I consume in which crazy events with out-there explanations are an everyday event.

Other examples:

I came home from work to find one of my neighbors standing motionless in his front yard, staring dully into the middle horizon, and I thought, "Whelp, my neighbor's a zombie." (I didn't swerve into him with my car, though. That's self-control right there.)

Any slightly weird lights in the night sky, and I'm thinking, "Whelp, the aliens are finally here. Hope they're friendly."

These two are welcome in my home.

When the lights in my house flickered a few times during a thunderstorm, I thought, "Whelp, there's a demon nearby. I hope Sam and Dean Winchester get here soon."

I see Paul Rudd looking the same today as he did in Clueless in 1995, and I think, "Whelp, Paul Rudd is an immortal from the Highlands of Scotland. Wonder where he hides his sword."

Of course, within a millisecond, I realize that the electricity is flickering because of the bad weather, and the weird lights in the sky are probably an airplane. However, I'm still not sure what my neighbor was doing. (Seriously, he had the slack face and blank eyes of the undead.) Also, I'm fairly sure Paul Rudd IS ageless, but it may be a crossroads demon thing rather than a Highlander situation.

Please, please, please tell me I'm not alone in this. Does anybody else have split-second crazy reactions fed by your love of the sci fi/fantasy/horror genres before common sense prevails?

P.S. The Google image search I did for child ghosts was terrifying. But not as terrifying as what comes up when you Google "Sam and Dean."